So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
