I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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