I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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