One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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