96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
