Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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