I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
