I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
As shirtless as possible
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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