New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
