We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
