I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
