I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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