For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Found the puke drawer
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
