I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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