I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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