I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
