You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
