I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
