Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just pee around me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
