I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
