we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
