That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
