She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
