just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
