There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
