I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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