so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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