covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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