I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
