People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
