Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
