i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
