I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
