Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
