why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
