I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
