There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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