Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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