In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
