take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
