He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
