Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
