in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
