I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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