sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
