Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
