We got so high we made milksteak
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's the barista slut.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You are the jesus of drinking
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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