tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
