i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
