fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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